Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
I am a 24 year old, college graduate, LDS girl, living in Salt Lake City Utah and... I'm single.
Knowing that, I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that the most common questions I am asked are...
Who are you dating? Why aren't you dating? Why aren't you married? Do you want to get married? Why are you single? and my personal favorite... You are so great! Why don't you have a boyfriend?
I am not quite sure why, but for some reason being 20-something years old and unmarried gets people quite concerned for your well-being. Now before I continue I need to make something quite clear. There is nothing wrong with dating or being married. I can't wait for the day when I find the right guy and can be with him forever. But as much as I can't wait to find him, I don't plan to sit around simply waiting either.
Being 24 and single has allowed me some time to ponder, grow and dare I even say mature. I have realized things that my younger self never would have learned if my life had gone according to MY plans.
Realization #1: PLANS CHANGE
I never planned on being the last of my friends to get married. I never planned on being 24 and still single. HOWEVER... I also never planned on being a photographer. I never planned on owning a magazine. I never planned on being the Youth Advocate at a high school working with the greatest kids known to man. Many of my plans have changed over the years and I have learned that HIS plan is better than MY plan. God knows you. He is aware of you. You have not been forgotten. He hears your prayers, just trust in his timing.
Realization #2: THERE IS MORE TO LIFE
I am in no way discounting marriage. I can assure you I am just as excited about my wedding day as the next girl. HOWEVER... Finding the "man of my dreams" and getting married is not my end-all-ultimate goal. There is so much more to life than just getting married. We shouldn't be waiting on finding our significant other in order to enjoy our lives and become who we were meant to become.
Realization #3: OTHER RELATIONSHIPS MATTER
Yes, I am still single, and yes, I still live at home, and no I am not just "mooching off my parents". I actually simply really enjoy being with my family. I know that if I had gotten married when I had planned on getting married, the relationship I have with my parents and siblings would be very different. I have gotten so close with my family because I chose to live at home. I have been able to develop those relationships into something truly incredible. I think people often get so focused on finding "the one" that they forget to treasure the relationships with those who have been there since "day one".
Realization #4: YOU CAN BE GREAT AND SINGLE
"You are so great! Why don't you have a boyfriend?" My very favorite question. It implies that being great must mean you are in a relationship. So on the flip side, if you're not in a relationship, you must not be very great. Since when did "greatness" (or lack thereof) qualify anyone for a relationship. I'm sure we all know many people who are "taken" who might not actually be that great... as well as many incredible people who are single as can be. Truth is, you CAN be great and single.
Along with being great, you really can and even should be HAPPY and single. Don't wait around for your Prince (or Princess) Charming to come and sweep you off your feet before choosing to be happy. That only leads to a lot of wasted life and wasted happiness. Live your life now. Your time will come. Until then, choose to be happy and single.
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Sunday, October 26, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Have you ever heard a guy say, "I hate it when girls wear makeup."
Once upon a time I dated that guy.
He made it very clear that he hated it when I wore makeup and that there was nothing more disgusting than being near a girl and having her makeup accidentally get on your clothes. Naturally, I wanted to impress this boy, so I did as he asked and didn't wear makeup when I was around him. (I also stopped wearing Converse shoes upon his request...silly me).
He would always compliment me and tell me how pretty I looked when I wasn't wearing makeup. It was flattering to know that I was "naturally" beautiful to him. On the flip side, if I ever decided to wear makeup, he would openly express his negative opinions about my decision.
Since then I have been paranoid that while wearing makeup, I might unintentionally leave my mark on some unsuspecting boy. I remember talking to a friend and when I mentioned that she said, "Oh man, if my boyfriend had a problem with that, we would have broken up a long time ago."
That's when it hit me. I was allowing some boy (who I ended up dumping about a month later anyway) define who I was. I stopped wearing makeup, not because I wanted to, but because he wanted me to, and that is extremely sad.
AVOID THE EXTREMES
There are a few "extremes" I have seen others, and even myself, fall into when it comes to beauty and makeup.
EXTREME #1: The Crutch
There are many girls and women who literally have a fear of being seen without their makeup. It has become a crutch and they base their beauty and even their worth on a bottle of foundation and a tube of mascara. This is definitely an extreme you want to avoid. It is important to understand that you ARE beautiful without any makeup.
Beauty doesn't come from cosmetics.
If you feel like you might fall into this category it's time to redefine what beauty really is. Take some time to find and recognize all the beautiful things about you. Some of these things might even been seen as imperfections to the outside world, however these are the things that make YOU uniquely YOU.
For example, I have a few little sun-spot freckles right around my nose and under my eye. They are often hiding underneath my makeup, but recently I have been allowing them to make an appearance. There are countless creams and lotions out there to help "erase" or lighten these "imperfections". For a long time I was worried about them, but now, I actually kinda love them. As weird as it sounds, I feel like I earned them.
EXTREME #2: The Pressure
This is the extreme that I fell into with the boy I dated.
I stopped wearing makeup for some boy and without even realizing it, I was giving him power over me and my own self-worth. If I had to change who I was just to impress some boy then he wasn't worth impressing in the first place. If you choose to wear makeup, for whatever reason, it honestly shouldn't matter what anyone else's opinion is. On the other hand, if you choose to not wear makeup, there is nothing wrong with that either. Don't allow the world to pressure you into wearing makeup in order to feel beautiful.
TAKE A STAND
Don't allow makeup to become a crutch you rely on in order to feel beautiful. Don't allow the pressures of wearing or not wearing makeup define you.
If a little bit of mascara in the morning helps to you feel like you look awake, more power to you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best and present yourself well. In fact we are commanded to take care of the bodies we have been blessed with. You are beautiful and you deserve to not only know that you are, but feel that you are.
What are your thoughts on makeup?